A mom walked into the shop with her daughter and said that the girl was a bit apprehensive about the whole measuring thing, but she needed a new bra and that they could use some help. I brought them to the dressing room in the back of the shop that we reserve for such important situations, closed the door, and we started to talk.
I told the girl that I didn’t need to take out the tape and measure, but if I could see what was going on, it would help me a lot to go and get the right bra. She took off her baggy shirt to reveal her pull-over-the head first-timer bra. It was a couple months too small for what was going on with her changing body. I recognized the bra. They had bought it at the shop last year.
I asked her how old she was. I told her how old I was. I told her my body has changed a lot too over the years and that I can’t wear the same bra as I used to. We talked about how some years our bodies change a lot in just one year – like when you are 12 and then turn 13 – and in other times in life, changes take place over five or ten years. In any case, our bodies change. She was following along. Any apprehension the mom made reference to seemed to be slipping away. I felt like this young girl was soaking up every word.
I explained that I was going to leave the room to go grab a bra or two and that we’d try them on to see how they fit. I also explained that I sometimes don’t get it right the first time so I might have to go back and get some others to try. In the stockroom, I thought about the marks I saw on the girl’s sternum. They kind of hashed back and forth like when you run through a rose or raspberry bush and get scraped by the thorns on your calf. I didn’t ask about them, she didn’t tell about them, so I figured it wasn’t anything to worry about as far as bra-style goes. I grabbed a basic youthful-style tan wired bra and a couple others with no wire in a couple different sizes in that range just in case.
I brought the bras to the room and offered to leave as she tried them on. She told me it was OK to stay. The Mom stayed too. You could see the girl’s whole body come to life when she pulled her arms through the straps and the cups close in on her chest in the wired one – the one she wanted to try on first – even though it was just a scootch too big in the cups. Her smile lit up the room. She looked at her mother and the two of them locked eyes. I felt the relief. I felt the belief.
After a few tries, we got the size and style just right for her growing body and the duo were on their way. A minute or two after they left the shop, the mom walked back in. We walked towards each other. I thought maybe she had forgotten something. She said she just wanted to give me a hug.
I just have to thank you…
I can’t believe what just happened…
My daughter has these scars from surgeries.
For her to let you see her…
She is so self-conscious about it.
What happened in there was incredible.
Thank you.
We hugged. I felt myself stroke the hair that came down over the nape of her neck. It felt maternal even though I don’t really know what that means.
Thank YOU.
Thank you for bringing your daughter in here.
I don’t have children.
Your daughter is my daughter.
Thank you for letting me help.
It takes a village.
The mom came in alone about a week later to shop for herself. She told me her daughter went right home that day and put on her new bra. Now she’s wearing tops with buttons and others that she’s never worn before instead of baggy t-shirts that come up high to the bottom of her neck. She said that something happened with that experience that has let her daughter be a kid again. Something has set her free from the scars. She said the girl went swimming in her bathing suit.
Over the next few days, I asked a couple of friends what the opposite of “scarred” is. Both of them took a second to think and answered the same way. “Perfect?”
Perfect. That’s the word.
Believe it.
Amazed by it all,
Joy
Perfect Rose On Black Background is a photograph by Florentina De Carvalho. Prints are available for purchase on fineartamerica.com.
Joy Slusarek is the owner of JOY all things underthings in Manchester Center, Vermont. The shop’s mission is to help women and girls find their joy from the inside out.
